Saturday, January 7, 2012

How do I talk to my fiancee about moving back home?

My fiancee and are currently living in Cincinnati, Oh. We moved here from Cleveland last June so that she could go back to school and be around her nieces and nephews. I wanted to help her so I moved down here with her, found a new job, and have been helping her out financially the best I can while she is a full time student. The original goal is to move back to Cleveland to establish a family and be around friends and her parents. But now she is starting to get cold feet about the whole idea and her only excuse is to be around her sister's children. I guess she missed out these relationships early on because she was always working and never had the time to visit. I am totally on board for supporting her while we reconnect with them for a year or two. I like her family a lot but Cincinnati is not home to me. I was open minded about moving here but after living here for a year it's just not me. The Cleveland market suits our careers and we really enjoy the community (entertainment;great friends;sports). I have a ton of potential to do well in my career there and I have lot of close friends. She too would also would flourish becasue she knows the area, is in agreat field that Cleveland promotes and has her friends and family there as well. So I am being patient and supporting her but whenever we talk about moving back it creates huge argument like I am taking her away from her family and I am being selfish. I am only thinking of the future for us and raising a family is something we both agree on. All my reasons are valid like earning potential for both of us, proxiemty to our parents (45 min (hers) to 1h 30min (mine). I have no problem traveling on the weekends to visit with her sisters in Cincy and I would do anything for them. But living here doesn't excite me. I feel like she is trapping me here even though she said she is not. I anticipate her pulling the plug on our dreams and it is discouraging me. It makes me feel like I have to sacrifice all my dreams for us just so that we can be around her sisters and their lives. And to top it all off, we are getting married next year in Cleveland and it's creating a lot of stress and axiety during a time in our lives that should happy. We are really excited about getting married there but for some reason she is having second thoughts about living there because her sisters are too far. So, I need a little help and some advice on how to tackle this situatuion.

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